I’ve been thinking a lot lately about couplehood. Usually before you enter a committed, monogamous love match you have a pretty good sense of who you are. Your thoughts, opinions, likes and dislikes. And when you start dating someone regularly it’s a great opportunity to discover new things, or see things through their eyes, as well as sharing your favorite pastimes in the hopes that they will appreciate them as much as you do. Like any relationship, it’s a chance to learn and grow.
But unlike friendships, couplehood carries a much greater chance of “I” becoming “We.” Seeing each other daily, living together and marriage turn you into a unit. Compromise ensues, and sooner or later you realize that you now never make a decision without taking the other person into account. While a certain amount of this is very healthy for your partnership, it can also be scary because it can make you feel like you have lost your sense of self.
Compounding that sense of loss can be the way the two of you are now automatically associated together in social or business circles. Suddenly it can feel like any statement made or opinion expressed by your partner is connected to you…even if you disagree with it! As a single, independent woman, I’ve put together a few tips on how to maintain your individuality while still growing together as a couple.