Another One Bites The Dust

Angry_bridesmaidsImage from Kelly Remmtsen 

Here we go again.  Another friend of yours is getting married.  This makes how many in the last few years?  Are you happy for her? Of course you are. This is the happiest day of her life and you were there since the beginning.  Listening to her go on and on about the guy she just met, helping her decide what to wear on the first date, and mopping up the tears after the first big fight.  You’re happier than anybody that it all worked out.

Mostly.

Let’s face it, things are going to change.  Maybe you’ve spent years dreaming about your own wedding and wonder why you’re getting left behind.  Maybe you’re single at heart and wish your friends would stop jumping on the “I’m too busy because I’m married” express.  Or maybe you feel like you’re losing a friend who is suddenly too busy planning her future to spend time with you.  Any of this sound familiar?  Well before you despair, here are some tips for getting through the big day and everything in between.

Someday my prince will come…

Screen Shot 2013-10-21 at 5.18.59 PMImage from Horasbah

Have a case of the “but where’s my wedding” blues?  Stop moping and seize an opportunity!  The best place to meet a potential someone is at a wedding.  Think about it.  There’s drinking, dancing, and really great food, all of which make it easier to talk to strangers.  And while they may be a stranger to you, every guest is part of your social circle one way or another.  So do your research and ask around, you’re sure to find someone who has the backstory on the cute guy who asked you to do the chicken dance.

Plus, you get to wear that dress you never get to wear.  You know, the one you bought on a whim but never have anywhere to go worthy of it.  You might even have your hair and makeup professionally done, and be refreshed from a spa day with the bride.  You’ll look your absolute best, and whoever you set your eyes on will be looking sharp in the suit he was forced to wear.  And since it’s a wedding, what do you think everyone will be talking about?  Yeah that’s right, marriage.  Cut to the chase and see where he stands, know what his relationship goals are, and don’t waste your time. So take time to work the room and talk to as many people as possible.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start getting ready!  Your friend’s day is over and now it’s your turn!

I like being single, I’m always there when I need me.

me_time      Image from Refinery29

So you like yourself just the way you are, and you want to keep your life exactly the way it is. You love your friends and your job, and as much as you like to date the last thing you need is a man to “complete you”.  Well, good for you!  Not a lot of people can honestly say they have everything they want.

For now.

Just because you don’t want true love or a family right this minute, doesn’t mean you won’t someday.  And while your friend clearly wants those things, don’t assume she’s any less your friend or needs you any less.  Getting married is a major life decision, and a part of her is terrified that nothing will ever be the same.  It’s up to you to reassure her.  Plan activities focused on her and her alone; not wedding related in any way.  Arrange relaxing moments where she can get away from the stress and planning, maybe by doing things she likes but her fiancé doesn’t.   Emphasize that she is more than just a soon-to-be-married woman.  Have a variety of ideas ready to go whenever she needs a break, and a contact list of mutual friends on standby.  It will remind her that she’s not alone and still the girl she always was. Then maybe, just maybe, it will remind you too.  Trust me.

No matter what girlfriends stick together, and that is Emma approved.

Emma

 

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