A Helping Hand

wedding planning Image from Bitchless Bride

The engagement photos have gone out, a date has been set, and wedding planning is in full swing.  This is a very exciting time!  However… you’re late with your deadline at work, you’ve cancelled on girl’s night twice, and gained ten pounds by stress eating.  This will be the most beautiful wedding in the history of weddings, as long as it doesn’t kill you first.  Don’t despair!  There’s a way to plan a wedding and still have a life.  It means asking for a little help and knowing who to ask. 

A Wedding Planner

It may not be as expensive as you think and is definitely worth it in the end.  There are wedding planning books you can buy, but those books don’t provide you with contacts.  When it comes to bands, caters, venues, and flowers, you want someone who knows them and has worked with them before.  You might have a friend who planned her own wedding and will give you advice.  Will she haggle prices and triple check contracts to make sure there isn’t a mistake?  Will she handle all the details and paperwork so all you have to do is sit back and enjoy?  I think not. Having a professional around who knows what she’s doing, what problems to anticipate, and willing to do whatever it takes is more of a lifesaver then you can imagine.  Before you decide against it just shop around.  See what your options are.

Your Fiancé

tux Image from onewed

Unfortunately, the stereotype about men and weddings is usually true.  Most men hate to plan them.  If you leave everything in their hands you might end up with hot wings, fire eaters, and a playlist blasting from his mp3 player.  Still, since it is his wedding too, you don’t want to hurt his feelings.  Choose a few small decisions, nothing major, and let him pick out whatever he wants.  It will make him feel involved without risking too much.  If what he chooses completely clashes with the rest of the theme, I’m sure you can find a way to encourage him in the right direction.  Just don’t allow your fiancé to do nothing, then wonder why you’re so stressed all the time! Don’t try to hide how hard you’re working by making it seem effortless.  At the very least, you should be able to count on him for emotional support.

Your Girlfriends


Image from Wedding Party App

They’re the obvious choice and enjoy planning this wedding just as much as you do, right?  Think again.  Don’t expect too much from your friends, or you might not have any left.  Everyone wants to have an opinion, but nobody wants to feel used.  It’s all about tone and attitude.  Make sure they know you’re asking for a favor, expect nothing, and appreciate everything.  Make it fun by adding some entertainment!   Host planning parties, complete with cocktails and appetizers. The relaxed atmosphere will encourage them to participate and do wonders for your state of mind.  Don’t overwhelm anyone and make them all feel special.  Learn to delegate!  Figure out what everyone is good at, and give them each a specialized task.  They’ll love hearing how great they are at something and that no one else can do it.  Especially when it’s true.

Your Co-workers

Pinterest Wedding

When you have too much on your plate, your work starts to suffer.  You find yourself distracted at the office, secretly browsing wedding pins and making discreet calls to florists.  When that happens, it affects those around you at work.  So stop hiding!  It will be much easier if you’re open about what you’re doing.  Get people interested and involved, and they won’t even notice how much work time is being used to plan the wedding.  Like I said, everyone wants to have an opinion.  You never know when someone has a good suggestion or a contact that can help.  Let them be part of your life.  Remember, you have to work there long after the wedding is over.

Your Family

wedding-cake_couples-cake-wedding_300 Image from Real Simple

Your mother, sisters, aunts, and cousins.  They are the first to volunteer and the hardest to control.  Be careful, they mean well but have a tendency to take over.  Especially mothers who try and turn it into the wedding they always wanted for you, not the one you want.  Can you blame her?  She’s probably been daydreaming about this since you were born.  My only advice is to handle them with care.  Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, but remind yourself that this is YOUR wedding.  It’s about you, your fiancé, and the life you are creating together.  Family is one of the most important things we have, but the family you are starting is just as important as the one you came from.

Planning the perfect wedding can be one of the greatest things you ever do, but don’t let the rest of your life suffer as a result.  Remember, you’re planning a lifetime together, not just one day.  Help can come from many places – the more the merrier.  So relax, take your time, and have a blast!  Celebrating all the people you love (not just the one you’re marrying), and letting them help celebrate you will make your wedding Emma approved.