Roadmap to Romance

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Image from la Romantiqu

Most people I meet are all looking for the same thing, someone to love and a partner to share their lives with. Grow together and thrive together.  But there are a million different ways to meet someone and only so many hours in a day.  Choice is paralyzing and that is where someone like me comes in.  So here’s a quick list to aid you in your quest for the right person.

MEETING AT WORK

The good – You have things in common.  You might have similar lifestyles, goals, or interests.  You see each other often, and know a lot of the same people.

The bad – You have things in common, like a boss.  Many of companies frown upon interoffice romance, and this could hurt your future.  If things go wrong, you still have to see and work with this person every day, so make sure to ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

THE FIX-UP

The good – Whoever is doing the fixing up, whether it’s friends or family, they obviously know you so they have good reason to think the two of you would hit it off.  At least that’s the theory.

The bad – How could someone who knows you that well, for that long, ever even consider this person right for you?  It’s bad enough to tell your date you’re not feeling it, but now you have to tell the person who set you up.  They will be insulted because you don’t like someone they do and insulted because you don’t think they did a good job.  All the while you’re trying not to be insulted that they obviously don’t get you at all!  It’s completely exhausting and this is the risk you take. Think about it, then call an expert.

CLASSES, hobbies, volunteering or the gym

The good – It’s like meeting someone at work but less intense. A class is no more than a couple of hours, once or twice a week.  You might enjoy your class, but it doesn’t pay your bills or decide your future.  If worse comes to worse, you can always find another class or just tough it out.  As far as risk vs. reward, the odds are definitely in your favor.

The bad – If you do it right, the only possible downside is finding a new class.  If you do it wrong, the possible downside can cost you much more wasted time and effort.  The wrong way means taking a class or joining a club you’re not genuinely interested in just to meet someone. If you do that it won’t be the right someone, so what was the point?

“OUT” including bars, clubs, parties

The good – Plenty of people are more than willing to talk to strangers, and anyone not on a date may very well be looking to meet someone or at least open to the possibility.

The bad –  The odds of meeting someone you can have a genuine relationship with – not just a date for the evening – are near zero.  There are a lot of frogs to get through and not a prince in sight.  A party is better; they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t know someone you know.

MIXERS

The good – Like a bar or a club except everyone’s intentions are clear, and sometimes mixers are themed to bring together people with a common interest or lifestyle.

The bad – Lots of frogs.  Desperate frogs.

SPEED DATING

The good – Efficiency.  Ten mini dates in under three hours?  Ten times the odds and still home in time to make other plans.  Never underestimate the power of a first impression; if you want to take a second look, you have all the time in the world.

The bad – Anyone who wants to sign up can, and there is almost no regulation of age, type, or interest.  So what seems efficient at first might just be the biggest waste of your time.  Remember, the goal is to find the right person, not the right now.

ONLINE DATING

The good – Now we come to it, the ultimate achievement in the world of modern dating.  Meet people all over the world!  Read their profile and make sure you have things in common.  Look at their photos and make sure they’re attractive.  With thousands of profiles to choose from, you can be your own matchmaker – all from the comfort of your home.  Sound too good to be true?

The bad – It’s not a total sham, plenty of people do meet online and go on dates.  If that’s all you’re looking for that’s one way of doing it.  But beware, online profiles are basically a kind of advertising. People are far from honest and often show you only what they want you to see.  If you decide to do this, remember the goal is dating.  If there is someone you’re interested in insist on meeting them in person ASAP. No online chats, no texts, no emails, and no sending them a wink.  It’s the only way you’ll ever know.

PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER

The good – When you hire a professional it’s because you’re admitting you need help.  Help from someone with the intuition, the contacts, the foresight, and the experience to do what you can’t do on your own.  A lot of people these days value their independence and hate to admit they need anyone. We insist on trying to do it all on our own.  We’re willing to trust ourselves, the internet, our loved ones, even our horoscopes; anything except someone with a resume, a client list, and an education.  Which doesn’t make sense.

We pay professionals to detail the car or repair the plumbing, an accountant to go over the books, a doctor to cure our illnesses, and a therapist to listen to our problems.  But when it comes to love? The person you’ll spend the rest of your life with, have children with, grown old with?  That we assume will just work out on it’s own.  So if you’re still single, perhaps it’s time to think again and look at other options.

The bad – If you are wise enough, intelligent enough, and forward-thinking enough to hire a matchmaking service, don’t forget to do your research!   What is their success rate?  How many clients do they have? Too few might be a sign that they don’t know what they’re doing, either because they’re new or because they have a bad reputation.  Too many clients and you can get lost in the shuffle so make sure you always meet with the same person and they provide the personal touch.

If not, they might just be relying on a computer program to make the matches for them, and you could have done that on your own.  What do they think you’re paying them for?!  The point of hiring a matchmaker is to have a guide, a guardian angel holding your hand, leading you to the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Whatever road you choose, the goal is always the same, to find the right person.  Never give up,  never settle for less, and make sure your life is Emma Approved.

Emma

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